Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Szechewan Conspiracy

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 7

Last night I get this wicked craving for some Chinese food. I'm not in the mood to cook but certainly want a good meal. I've also decided that I'll try a new restaurant for a change. So off I go to grab the phone book. Our version of the Yellow Pages is about 1/2 a foot thick so you can just imagine the restaurant section.

About 10 pages in I stumble upon one place that seems to have a fairly good deal. It's a combo dinner for 2. 5 Items plus a little munchie plate so were good to go, I'm calling them up and placing my order. An hour and a 1/2 later our food arrives but we decide to wait a little longer before eating. I suppose another hour passes and we dig in.

I think I've made a terrible mistake people .. The dry ribs are enormous clumps of fat in batter, the Special Foo Young is nothing more than Egg Foo Young in a horrible disguise and the Szechewan Beef (my favourite dish) looks like earrings I wore back in the 80's.. Now here's where I must be honest, were a little buzzed so you know... it does look strange BUT .. we have the munchies dag nabbit and were going to chance it anyway!

I'm about 3 bites in to my food and realize that eating a shoe out of the gutter just might taste better than this monstrosity that entered my home in it's little plastic containers... which really, should have been my first clue. We discard our "dinner" and choose pepperoni sticks as our NEW main course.

This morning my partner and I agree that the food outright sucked and were going to call the restaurant up and let them know we were not happy with the order. What follows is a re-enactment of the phone call I had with the hostess that answered the phone ..

Her: good morning how can I help you?

Me: Hi there, we ordered some food from you last night and would like to discuss our order.

Her: what is the problem?

Me: Well we ordered the combo dinner for 2 and to be honest, it was not at all what we expected.

Her: Are you a new customer?

Me: Yes this is our first order with you but why does that matter?

Her: Well, if you've never been here before you may not know how we make our food. It's very different from alot of other restaurants in the city.

Me: Does that mean everyone else uses meat except your establishment?

Her: We have over 100 customers a day you know ..

Me: So .. none of them got meat either then?

Her: You have no meat? Where did your meat go?

Me: Ok, one of the things I ordered was Szechewan Beef, but there was no beef in it, it was all batter with nothing inside.

Her: Well, the beef shrinks when we cook it.

Me: What do you cook it in, acid?

Her: Your new, you don't know how we cook it.

Me: Well, I know that everyone else cooks it with beef, hence the name Szechewan Beef. I also know that the dish you sent me, had none. It was not shrunken beef, it was invisible beef ...

Her: Ummmm

Me: We also ordered some Special Foo Young, to my understanding it's special because you add more to it. BBQ pork, chicken, shrimp, peas and onions. What you made for us was eggs with bean sprouts.

Her: The shrimp is just small and we only use a few pieces.

Me: So your telling me that I paid an extra 9.50 to get something missing most of the ingredients and the reason I cannot taste or see the shrimp is because it's small?

Her: yes, the shrimp is small, so it's harder to taste.

Me: Whether shrimp is small or not you can taste it .. it's SHRIMP!!

Her: Hold on I'll go ask the cook how many pieces of shrimp he put in your dish.

Me: The cook knows which foo young was mine from last night????

Her: I go to other places and the food is gross, I just don't go back. Make a cross on our ad and just don't order from us anymore.

Me: So I'm getting no compensation for this meal is what your telling me?

Her: If you were not a new customer, you would have known how we cook our food.

Me: I would never become a customer after such sh#tty service and excuse making.

Her: Ok, my phone is ringing.

Me: Wonderful .. let's hope they don't order anything with shrimp or beef in it.

Her: Ok, thank you, call again!

So there you have it, $40.00 dollars and a minor meltdown later my Szechewan fiasco comes to and end.. I'm still hungry, still quite irritated and the only thing in my house right now is a box of pizza pops because I said screw it to shopping today and dealing with any form of customer service...

I think I just may need another drink!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Comments, Comments, Comments

Saturday, May 16, 2009 4
Hi all, it has just been brought to my attention that my comments section is not working. I recently tried out a new layout but I'm not sure if that could be the issue or not. For those of you that have tried to leave me a comment and have been unable too, I apologize. I had no idea until about 5 minutes ago. But, I do appreciate that you made the effort :)

Hopefully going to get this fixed today!

(3:34 pm)Apparently it can be fixed in 5 seconds. Feel free to comments your arses off!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

She Cut Me Off ...

Thursday, May 14, 2009 2
Ok, I'm about to share something personal ..I don't do this often but it's so silly that I just can't help myself. Last Monday I call my doctor, you know the one who deals with "lady issues". And I explain to her receptionist who sounds like she's 12 that my *cough* pills are almost done and I need a refill by the following Monday.

I am told this won't be an issue and the script will be faxed to my pharmacy within 2 days. Day two rolls around and I call to check on my order ... nothing. Hmmm, this is odd, did she go golfing and forget me... maybe she got caught in a stir up and no one can hear her cries for help? It's a mystery so far ... so, I call back and ask what's going on. i'm told she is dealing with it but busy. Fine, I still have some time, no big deal.

It's now Monday morning and I call to check once again. Still no script sitting at the pharmacy. Now, anyone who has ever been on the "lady pills" is well aware that there is a very specific schedule to be followed. I'm hoping my doctor knows this but I'm starting to really wonder. This is a simple 2 minute phone call, it will not take much of her time to get this dealt with for me.

You guessed it, now it's Tuesday and this time, her office phones me. The girl on the phone, the 12 year old is telling me very sternly that I need to come in the next day and have a sit down with the doctor. I kind of snap at this point and ask what the problem is. "It seems that Gyno Nazi, I mean Doctor %&@*$& has changed her mind and decided that she does not want me to have another pack of pills.

I am now two days off schedule at this point and my pills are being held hostage by some freak who feels it would be a great idea for me to have some more kids.. why not right, she has a playroom at her office! I proceed to ream out reception as my Dr is too chicken to get on the phone with me directly .. I tried to get her to understand that I wanted birth control, not heroin ..but to no avail.

Today I spent three hours waiting and tavelling to go see another doctor who gave me my script within 10 minutes of being at his office. I'm not sure what happened here but I feel like I was in a battle of the uterus's and I lost to the queen of all .... I'll just stop right there.

What is the world coming to when a person can go to a schoolyard at night and buy crack but it takes me a week to get birth control pills?? I warn you now ladies, watch out for your local Gyno Nazi, she is lurking somewhere, with a bucket of hidden pills just waiting to make your life hell.

Monday, May 11, 2009

It Must Be Monday

Monday, May 11, 2009 0
Hey guys, I figured I better get my butt in here and post something! I am currently working on a new blog about cooking, recipes and all things kitchen related. Cooking is one of my passions so I thought to myself .. why have I not blogged about this in more depth?

I have my new blog "This Food Tastes Funny" in the blog roll (right column) though it is pretty fresh right now. Today I've just been tweaking my layout, figuring out what goes where and adding all my widgets and other gizmo type bits. I probably should not have bothered publishing it as there are no recipes on any of the pages lol .. I tend to get ahead of myself at times but oh well, it's one less thing to do later on!

Feel free to check it out if you'd like, I will work on it some more over the next few days and get some content posted.

take care all,


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Pay Homage To Those Wonderful Gals ..

Thursday, May 7, 2009 0
Mother's Day will soon be upon us so I felt it fitting to post a little something about it. I think the best gift I ever recieved on this day was from my oldest son. He was 5 at the time and in kindergarten. I remember picking him up after school that day and he came running out to me with a huge smile on his face. He handed me a card he had made for me and a broach. The card was rather sweet with a nice poem glued to one side and some artwork on the other .. The broach was a story all it's own. It seemed the class wanted to make jewelery but as typical 5 year olds, they did it with an interesting twist.

My son presented me with a very colorful piece of melted plastic with a pin fastened on the back. I'd say it is about the size of a tomato slice with every color imaginable swirling around the surface. From what I understand, they made thier jewelery then melted it in an oven to make jewelery goop. From there, they added a broach pin and let them harden lol ...

It is, without a doubt the most interesting piece I own and definetely my favourite as it was something that came from the heart of a 5 year old boy. It's been 7 years since I recieved that gift and it still sits in my jewelery box today.

You forgot to pay up!

So, I'm online today and reading my local paper. I get through the daily stories and decide I will check out a new category for a change. I click my way through to the "Odd News" section and what do I find? "Officials order man to pay 36 euro-cent debt "

Of course I am curious and a little floored by this title so off I go to read a bit more about it. It turns out that this man, who resides in Austria, sent in a bill payment of 236.00. He overlook the change owed for whatever reason and found himself in some hot water for it.

Apparently local court officals were so bothered by this that they sent a debt collector to his home to ensure the bill company got their 36 cents immediately. The funniest part of this story is that it cost the debt collector 5 euro's to make the trip. I have never been to Austria personally and it makes me wonder .. What kind of penalty would you get from the court if you stole a pack of gum? 10 years in prison I'm sure ..

I am an avid reader of The Onion and I have to say, this one tops some of the article's I've read over there. That reminds me... I should track down my old neighbour Susie Sunshine, I'm sure she still owes me a nickel for that gumball I bought her in grade 2...

Friday, May 1, 2009

The Weekend Cometh ...

Friday, May 1, 2009 0
Thank the gods for that .. I have had a very emotionally & mentally draining week so I do apologize for not being here to post & say hello to you all. But, as well all know, that wonderful thing called "real life" interupted me, came knocking at my door and unfortunately, I got up to answer....

I have spent so much time this week reflecting, disecting and running thoughts over and over in my head that the thought of actually vocalizing myself to another human really didn't seem like a good idea. Trust me, it was better this way for everyone ... Now I am processing, sorting and trying to file all of this new mind boggling info and hoping that within a few days I will be back to hitting the books or is that hitting the blogs?

Either or, I wanted to stop in, if even for a minute, and let you guys know that I see you stopping by and appreciate the fact you've shown more dedication to my blog this week than I have. So, thank you for that! I am going to take some time this weekend to let my brain go into a temporary stasis and attempt to have some fun. If I show up next time a bit hungover, don't look shocked, I'm Irish afterall, you should have known better .. hehe

Hope everyone has a nice weekend, I'll be back Monday!

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